I Do What I Want #39: Do You Have to Always Like Your Friends?

Posted September 24th, 2017 in I Do What I Want, My Features / 8 comments

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Sometimes I just want to talk about random crap. No theme, no rules, just…whatever. That’s where I Do What I Want posts come in. This is where I…well, do whatever the hell I want. Enjoy…and be very afraid.

Okay, maybe this is a weird post but I have thought about this for some time now. I can’t really talk to my friends about it because it’s about them. Luckily, most of them do not read my blog. 😀 So, I know someone (let’s call her Sherry) who had a bad experience with a friend (let’s call her Mimi, because why the hell not). Sherry paid for Mimi’s lunch one day. So Mimi took that as a sign that Sherry would then pay for every meal and outing thereafter. Sherry does not have a lot of money, so the last lunch they had, she told Mimi that they should split lunch. Mimi said she didn’t bring any money, so…yeah.

Another time Sherry was going over to Mimi’s house every weekend to help Mimi organize and clean. No money was being exchange, it was one friend helping another friend. Mimi barely helped in cleaning her own house as Sherry spent hours doing so. On the third visit, Mimi gave up the pretenses and sat on the couch and watched Sherry clean her house.

A whole bunch of other stuff happened, but, in the end, Sherry finally decided she hated being taken advantage of, so she dropped Mimi as a friend.

Getting rid of friends is something Sherry and I have talked a lot about. She gets rid of friends when they do something she can’t get over. I have to admit, usually she is right. In this situation, I agreed with her.

I have had friends come and go through my life. I don’t get rid of them but I let them get rid of themselves (that’s a whole other story). I have friends who I don’t always agree with their choices, way of thinking, or actions. They do stuff that annoys me, confuses me, and even hurts me sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they’re not my friends. I take what my friends do with a grain of salt. We all have different personalities, experiences, and feelings so we are going to react differently to different situations. We don’t have to always agree with our friends to stay friends with them, do we?  Isn’t being friends mean you look past someone’s faults or extremes and like them anyway? Yes, sometimes people do things that are unforgivable and the friendship is bound to end. It happens. But if I dropped friends who annoyed me sometimes, I would have no friends left.

I guess I’m wanting reassurance that I am not the only one who doesn’t like their friends sometimes, be it because of a decision they made or something they said. That’s okay, right? Is it normal?

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8 Responses to “I Do What I Want #39: Do You Have to Always Like Your Friends?”

  1. kindlemom1

    I don’t think you always have to like them, nor do I think you will always get along. I mean, it’s the same thing with family. You love them but you don’t always like them LOL!
    I think sometimes taking a break is the best thing for everyone and sometimes you do have to let them go because they aren’t healthy for you emotionally and that is okay too. 😉

  2. Carrie

    Sooooo normal. I think you just grow apart. Being taken advantage of is different though. She’s not a true friend in those cases. “If you have one true friend in your life then you consider yourself lucky.” I have heard that so many times and now I truly truly believe it. I am 49 years old and honestly I do not have one single person that I would call a “true friend”. I have my sisters and they are my friends. I have one guy friend and he’s my husband’s friend and I borrow him for my list. I have several other acquaintances that I’ve known my whole life, but I never see them except at funerals. Again.. not true friends. The people/person whom I used to consider “Best Friend” status became toxic to my sanity. I made sure we “grew apart”. It’s a healthy lifestyle choice that I made. There is nothing wrong with that as far as I can see. That is not to say that it wasn’t hard letting go. I’m human and my feelings were hurt, but I was tired of being taken advantage of as well.

  3. Christy LoveOfBooks

    Nope, you’re good. Some of my closest, oldest friends drive me up the fucking wall. I have to take time away from them or I would strangle them. But I’m here for them when they need it. I usually keep all my relationships in good standing, though, and just keep contact at a minimum. Even when I flat-out don’t like them. There are always exceptions though.

  4. Nathan

    It is normal to have issues with your friends or family from time to time. “You can’t please everyone all the time” is true and sometimes you will have disagreements. Being taken advantage of is not being a friend and it is good to drop that person from your list of friends. My friends are mostly online, including yourself.

  5. Kristin (Book Sniffers Anonymous)

    You need to not hate them all the time, otherwise, what’s the point of being friends. However, getting annoyed with them from time to time is fine. We’re all different and have our own personalities that may clash here and there. I am a loner and don’t like doing a lot of things. My best friend can NOT sit still. So, when I go home to visit or she comes out to visit me, we clash sometimes. Usually at least once a visit. LoL She wants to wake up and go go go until we pass out to make the most of our time together and I just want to hang out and chill, maybe check something out locally and then head back. With that being said though, if I had a Mimi, I’d drop her like a hot potato. That chick was taking advantage of your friend. There has to be a give and take in any relationship and it’s not cool that Mimi was always willing to take without reciprocating.

  6. Let's Get Beyond Tolerance

    I totally get this. I have a lot of friends that are very different from me, so I don’t always like what they say or do – but we’re still friends. Granted, I do agree that the Mimi/Sherry situation is AWFUL and Sherry was totally right in dumping Mimi – she was just being used really.

    -lauren

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