I Do What I Want #25: Becoming a Better Person

Posted October 20th, 2016 in I Do What I Want, My Features / 24 comments

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Sometimes I just want to talk about random crap. No theme, no rules, just…whatever. That’s where I Do What I Want posts come in. This is where I…well, do whatever the hell I want. Enjoy…and be very afraid.

Someone close to me read an article that said it’s almost impossible for people to really change. You can change small things but your personality, patterns, and core beliefs/values are set in stone. I found that disturbing. I like to imagine people can truly change the bad things about themselves if they try hard enough.

Ever since I heard about this concept I have been on a mission to improve myself. The first step was admitting the things I didn’t like about myself. I have come a long way. I feel like I have improved who I am and how I am with other people. I am less judgmental, I am more open to other’s opinions, I am no longer super competitive, and I no longer let other people incite me into arguments. But I still have some ways to go.

I wanted to share with you all the things I still need to work on. Maybe if I share them here, they will become more real and make me more accountable in accomplishing my goals of becoming a better person. So, here it goes…

4. Become less impatient

I have improved on this front, but I still get impatient about certain things. Like when my mom can’t figure out how to use certain electronics or computers and I just showed her yesterday. Or when people ask me to repeat myself even though I know they heard me because they start answering before I am finished repeating the question.

3. Clean more often


I am relatively clean but sometimes I let things get pretty messy. Even though I hate germs, my own germs are fine. So sometimes I let my bathroom floor or counter get a bit grimy before I clean it. I let things in my room pile up before I have to put them away just so I can have space to walk. I hate this about myself. I love a clean place, but when I’m being lazy, I just let things go.

2. Finish projects

I have so many hobbies it’s not even funny, but I never really commit to one. I have an electric and acoustic guitar. I played them for a couple years, but never got really good and now I never touch them. I started doing the whole photography thing then never took that anywhere. I am not developing my graphic or web design education. I did some basic web design work for a few years and quit that. I wrote some stuff, got a few things published, but I have so many incomplete manuscripts lying around. I get into editing mode and never come out. I’m still not getting my ass going with my throw pillow business. It’s really bad. I start things but don’t finish them. Often it’s because I don’t feel I am good enough. I know passing by knowledge but I never become professional at anything. When I was a kid I use to be amazing at everything, now I am just average which sucks.

1. Lose Weight

I have been struggling with my weight for a good chunk of my life. I do eat fruits and veggies, but I have a problem with eating when I’m not hungry (overeating) and I have an obsession with chocolate. It’s hard for me to go one day without a little bite of chocolate, which is really bad. I wish I could eat without consideration of taste but it’s hard. I’ve been exercising every day for the past two weeks, which is good, but who knows how long that will last. What really discourages me is when I’m on a strict diet and I exercise and I lose no weight. Ugh!!! Then I pig out because I feel like no matter what I do I will never lose all my weight. I go up and down a lot. One day I hope I finally stick with a diet and exercise routine without being discouraged.

So, yeah, these are the things I dislike about myself and I hope to change one day. It’s hard, no doubt, but I am starting to feel like a well-rounded person. It’s a good feeling. Now I just need to keep going.

What things do you want to change about yourself for the better?

I Do What I Want, My Features

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24 Responses to “I Do What I Want #25: Becoming a Better Person”

  1. Ashley

    I want to work on #3 too. I LOVE it when things are clean, but I let things get out of control more often than I’d like. And my husband doesn’t seem to care about things getting dirty at all, so that kind of leaves me to deal with it. >_< For this:

    What really discourages me is when I’m on a strict diet and I exercise and I lose no weight. Ugh!!!

    I’m not sure what kind of time frame you’re looking at (days/weeks/months) but if you’re exercising then it’s totally normal to retain a lot of water as your muscles heal. This means you won’t lose weight on the scale (due to extra water in your system) but you still are losing fat! You should still see a downward long term trend though so it depends on the amount of time, of course.

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      I have been exercising every day but the diet comes and goes. I try to eat less mainly. More fruits and veggies. But the weight is pretty consistent. Ugh! I need to be more strict.

  2. chucklesthescot

    I have had to learn to be more patient, less competitive and to avoid pointless fights even if I think I am right! I started on Twitter a few years back and had to stop wading into fights when I saw tweets that really infuriated me. Now, I watch the fight and retweet the comments made that I like! I’m bad at finishing projects…I have been keeping news scrapbooks since 1994 but the process of cutting out interesting stuff from newspapers and then sticking the articles and paragraphs in like a very complex jigsaw puzzle is time consuming and boring so I am currently 4 years behind! I plan to try and catch up this winter along with reading, blogging, TV and films…*sigh*

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Wow, 4 years behind. I know how that feels thought. I feel like I am behind on everything!

  3. sherry fundin

    Impatience is probably my worst one. Sometimes I hear myself talking and wonder why I said that. Whether we can really change or just learn to control our reactions, I don’t know. I don’t seem to be having much luck with it. 🙁
    sherry @ fundinmental

  4. Northwoman

    I can relate to these things. Certainly, the cleaning thing is VERY true. I especially hate dusting as I am allergic to dust and it seems to come back about 2 seconds after one dusts.

    But the food thing is funny. When I was hiding and unhappy with my life, I ate, mostly healthy food, but too much. Eventually, I was unhappy enough that I didn’t care if I ate or not, so I only ate if I was really hungry. I lost 20 pounds without realizing it was happening. Then I started eating better. I chose to eat things like nuts / trail mix for snacks, high in protein and enough fat you only need a little to fill you. I try to eat things which are not very processed. BUT THE BIGGEST OTHER THING, for me, was don’t use food as a reward! I still do it sometimes but find other rewards whether it is a pedicure or a new book you’ve wanted or time to work on a craft you’re wanted, a new yarn or a new fabric. Things other than food. I eat everything I want, even sweets, but in smaller quantities or less often. I lost 50 pounds and kept it off for 5 years. I gained about 10 pounds back over the last year and I am reminding myself. Food is not a reward. Anne

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      I have bad allergies too so I know what dusting is like. Ugh. I am trying the smaller quantities of food. I think that’s the biggest thing for me.

  5. Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews

    I used to be unable to say ‘no’ to other people. I don’t know if it was because I wanted everyone to like me (spoiler alert – everybody didn’t like me, even back then!) or if it was a way to make myself feel good about being the one person who was always asked to help with stuff. In the end, though, I realized that I sometimes genuinely didn’t really want to participate in some projects, so I finally learned to say no. And the world didn’t end!!
    I used to be incredibly impatient, too. I’m much better now, even if it sometimes happens that I just want things to move along – at the pace I am ready for.
    Good luck reaching your goals, Jennifer!

  6. Bookworm Brandee

    It’s neat you’re taking it upon yourself to make positive changes, Jennifer. 🙂 And it seems we have a few things in common with the cleaning, hobbies, and eating. I suppose I can be impatient sometimes but I think that’s the one I’d need to work on the least. One thing I’ve been trying work on changing is commenting on people’s driving. When people are tailgating me, which happens a lot on the mountain roads where I live, I try to just smile and not let it bother me. But people! The speed limit is set for a reason! LOL

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Oh yes, road rage! I use to let stupid drivers bother me but Iet it slide off my back now.

  7. Christy LoveOfBooks

    “I am less judgmental, I am more open to other’s opinions, I am no longer super competitive, and I no longer let other people incite me into arguments.”

    Ah yes, I went through this journey in college. It’s amazing what tons of psych classes can do. lol. No, but it’s great that you’re self-aware and consciously make the choice to improve yourself. No matter how small the issue is, like cleaning more. Don’t ever stop being a cold hearted bitch though, it’s what I like best about you. 😛

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Come on, you know cold-hearted in my middle name. I am just a more self-aware cold-hearted bitch now. 🙂

  8. Melliane

    that’s always so difficult. Good luck girl but don’t push yourself too much. I’m really not patient but I would like to be less sensitive but even if I try it’s complicated

  9. Braine

    I think most of us are working on #4 at some point, I know I am. My patience with my attention has been slowly going thin as I age. now I understand why some seniors are so ornery!

    I feel you on #1, I struggled with mine too. I tried so many routines but like Jared Leto said, it’s not rocket science, you want to lose weight, you gotta stop eating! LOL Easier said than done so I guess I’ll continue to struggle.

    Good luck to us!

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Yeah, I wish I was one of those people who just don’t enjoy food that much. If I could just eat cardboard and like it all would be well.

  10. Melissa (Books and Things)

    It isn’t impossible for people to change or we would never get out of infancy. 🙂 Well most of us do get out of infancy, not all. *looks at current US election* LOL Seriously, it isn’t impossible but that most of us don’t change. It takes a consistency and a true acknowledgement of what we want to change. I’ve known people who have changed, I’ve changed and nothing really stays the same. I think you have stumbled on a way to prove that article wrong. Go you!

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Well, the election has taught us that many don’t change at all, sadly.

  11. Nathan

    I need to work on #2 and #3. I clean myself well, but not always the world around me. I have tied many things, painting, sketching, fossil work, etc. But I can’t easily find the space or time right now. A person can change, for the better or worse. It can happen subtly or with effort. But people can and do change, but it does take effort to make changes in ourselves. I wish to be a better person and I think it is a good thing you are trying to do that. As for the weight thing, exorcise, and eat right and not to much. I try not to watch the scales too much. You need to be hopeful you are making progress over all and love yourself. If you have that and you can achieve anything you set you mind to.

  12. Olivia Roach

    What’s so good about this blog post is that you’re seeing those things you want to change and maybe setting goals for yourself as well if that is something that you really want to achieve. I did something similar in the summer and have been able to change those things. I do need to work on finishing more projects, but I’m getting there!

  13. Jaclyn Canada

    I read that it takes around 30 days to start a habit so I just try really hard for a while and then it feels part of my routine. I wonder if that’s how it works for people who aren’t routine followers like I am? I think saying it’s impossible to change certain things about a person is ridiculous. I feel like if there’s enough work put in, it’s possible for sure. I have Resting Bitch Face so bad so I have tried to make a conscious effort to smile every time I see people so they don’t think I’m pissed off at the world when in fact I’m a pretty happy person.

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Interesting. I love little tidbits like that. LOL, resting bitch face. I have resting miserable face.

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