I am dealing with some meanie-bo-beenies right now. I am feeling very picked on and attacked. I am a very playful person so I love joking around, even when it’s at my expense. But I think there should be a limit. To hear that I am weird at least every week is demoralizing. I like being weird and silly but when someone is telling you that repetitively, in a serious manner, with a superior attitude, it’s exhausting. To have every word I say twisted and made into something ugly is hurtful. To be laughed at no matter how nice or accommodating I try to be is like a little bit of misery every day. To be criticized for everything I do, no matter how well I do it is like watching my light die a little every day. It stops being funny when all the jokes are at one person’s expense.
I am not writing this to complain. I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this for advice. I am stuck in this situation for now, that cannot be helped, at least for the immediate future. I have tried to stick up for myself but I get teamed up on and I’m told I’m being dramatic or the truth gets twisted so it’s all my fault. I’m just so tired. So fucking tired. What do I do? Do I keep trying to stick up for myself when it makes no difference? Should I keep my head down and stop interacting with these people? I could go balls to the wall and put them in their place, make them nervous to keep picking on me, but then I’m the bully. I don’t know. My first reaction is to shut them down with my words. I think really fast on my feet and I have great comebacks. I’m good in arguments, but what will that really get me? I’m trying to take the high road, but maybe I’m just becoming a mat to be walked all over. I’m so confused.
What do you guys think? How would you handle this situation? I wish I could give you more details but I need to be careful of what I say…for now.