I Do What I Want #21: Meanie-Bo-Beenie

Posted September 15th, 2016 in I Do What I Want, My Features / 23 comments

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Sometimes I just want to talk about random crap. No theme, no rules, just…whatever. That’s where I Do What I Want posts come in. This is where I…well, do whatever the hell I want. Enjoy…and be very afraid.

I am dealing with some meanie-bo-beenies right now. I am feeling very picked on and attacked. I am a very playful person so I love joking around, even when it’s at my expense. But I think there should be a limit. To hear that I am weird at least every week is demoralizing. I like being weird and silly but when someone is telling you that repetitively, in a serious manner, with a superior attitude, it’s exhausting. To have every word I say twisted and made into something ugly is hurtful. To be laughed at no matter how nice or accommodating I try to be is like a little bit of misery every day. To be criticized for everything I do, no matter how well I do it is like watching my light die a little every day. It stops being funny when all the jokes are at one person’s expense.

I am not writing this to complain. I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this for advice. I am stuck in this situation for now, that cannot be helped, at least for the immediate future. I have tried to stick up for myself but I get teamed up on and I’m told I’m being dramatic or the truth gets twisted so it’s all my fault. I’m just so tired. So fucking tired. What do I do? Do I keep trying to stick up for myself when it makes no difference? Should I keep my head down and stop interacting with these people? I could go balls to the wall and put them in their place, make them nervous to keep picking on me, but then I’m the bully. I don’t know. My first reaction is to shut them down with my words. I think really fast on my feet and I have great comebacks. I’m good in arguments, but what will that really get me? I’m trying to take the high road, but maybe I’m just becoming a mat to be walked all over. I’m so confused.

What do you guys think? How would you handle this situation? I wish I could give you more details but I need to be careful of what I say…for now.

I Do What I Want, My Features

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23 Responses to “I Do What I Want #21: Meanie-Bo-Beenie”

  1. kindlemom1

    Honestly, I would stick up for yourself but do it in a way that makes them feel bad about what they’ve said and not that you are bullying them in return. It’s a very fine line but one I think you need to toe. They have no right to bully you and shouldn’t get away with it or think their behavior is okay. I would say what you need to say and then leave them alone from there. You don’t need people like that in your life and if you can get away with not interacting with them or with very little interaction they I say do it.

    There is no “normal” in anything so for someone to be saying negative things all the time about you, does affect you, regardless of how confident you are and it just shouldn’t be allowed. In friends, family or the work place.

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      I have been interacting with them less and less. I try to stay away from them at much as possible. Thanks for the advice.

  2. Carrie

    Wow. Bullying seems to have taken over the world lately. I don’t know what to tell you here. I know how angry I am at reading this, but I’m not sure what would be good advise. I know you don’t want to stand your ground and end up being bullied more as a result and you don’t want to get nasty and feel like you’re stooping to their level, but I love Kindlemom’s idea! Do it in a way that makes them feel like crap, if that’s possible. You do not need people like this in your life. They do not deserve you!

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      It’s weird to have it done to me as an adult too. I guess bullying is not just for kids anymore.

  3. Nathan

    I want to help, but don’t know what advice to give you. Do these people know how they are making you feel? I agree bullying should not be allowed, but you don’t want to stoop to their level. If you can stay away from them as much as possible, do so. You don’t need mean, judgmental people in your life. And really, what is normal? Unless you are a complete stereotype, we all have our interesting things that some might criticize. There is no such thing as “normal” or “perfect”. We need to just love ourselves for who we are and if these people have a problem with that, that is their problem. I am not saying you have to confront them, but are they aware of how hurtful their words are? Do they have a conscious? If you do confront them, I agree with kindlemom make them feel bad for how they treat you. Over wise avoid such people if possible. You deserve better.

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      I have been avoiding them as much as I can. I honestly don’t know if they realize what they say is hurting me so much. I think they realize what they are saying is mean but they think it’s okay if it’s done “jokingly.”

  4. Bookworm Brandee

    I think I’d stand up for myself if I were you, Jennifer, especially if you can do it in a way that doesn’t make *you* the bully. I’m not quick-witted but I wish I were. I’ve been in situations like this before and I’ve never been able to speak up for myself and it’s frustrating. But what’s happening to you isn’t right and it’s really not right for you to have to put up with it. Good luck.

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Thanks. I think I am going to ask them why they say such mean things? I want to know if their intention is to hurt me. Maybe that will make them rethink what they say.

  5. Christy LoveOfBooks

    I won’t put my suggestions in writing because, you know, evidence. It’s hard to say without having an understanding of the person(s) & situation. I tend to fuck with people psychologically, exploiting their weaknesses. When done right, your hands will appear clean and they’d be a broken shell of what they once were. Or drug them and take pictures of them in compromising positions. That one is oldie but a goody. Sigh. But I guess I should just tell you to stick up for yourself. Seriously, fuck those bitches. Burn their shit.

  6. Melliane

    I understand. it can be a joke when someone says it once, twice well but more than that I really don’t like that. You know when it happens I usually says to the person that. That once is fun but if you say more that means that you really think it is and it’s hurtful and it usually works. And if it’s not someone close to me I just let them and don’t speak to them anymore

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      That has been my strategy so far, just not talking to them when I don’t have to. Thanks for the advice.

  7. Melissa (Books and Things)

    Well, without details it is hard to give advice. I would say ask yourself a lot of questions first. Why do you care and what are you trying to accomplish? I’m not sure what standing up for yourself means in this scenario (and b/c of that I’m not suggesting doing it or not), but I think you may have to just walk away in either case and find some real friends. I hope you find a good solution to your problem. ((HUGS))

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      I know, I wish I could give more details. I usually talk crap back but I am trying to be a better person. Not engaging is best I think.

  8. Let's Get Beyond Tolerance

    I’m sorry to hear this is happening to you! I honestly don’t know what you could do besides being honest and telling them to stop or that it’s bothering you. But if they are doing it TO be mean or appear superior, they might not care that it obviously bothers you. People are difficult.

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      I think if I tell them to stop, they will say I can’t take a joke. But I guess I could try and see what happens. Nothing can be worst than it is right now.

  9. kimbacaffeinate

    Since i don’t know the full details I am not sure if commenting back will only fuel their fire and not put it out. Is this a social environment? Work? All of that would impact my advice. I will tell you, I would if able turn my back and walk away when they exhibit that behavior . People like that, really Jen do you give a horse’s ass what their opinions are? In year will these people matter to you? *hugs*

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      No, their opinion is shit to me, I think it was the consistency of it that got me. It sucks to hear shit about yourself every day even if you don’t believe it. I am trying very hard to get out of this situation.

  10. Olivia Roach

    I know this is your blog and you should be free to say whatever you want to, but it’s good that you’re being careful and all. You really shouldn’t have to change for other people to take you seriously – you should just be you. In my opinion you shouldn’t change but you should walk away from them and try and find other people who will support you. You deserve that much <3

    • Jennifer (Bad Bird Reads)

      Thanks. I am trying very hard to get away from these people. It might take time but I will.

  11. Jaclyn Canada

    I went to a different school every two years. I am very short and small so that made for ‘easy pickings’, and add that I’m weird on top of it and it’s quite the recipe. Here’s what worked for me: If it’s physical, I ALWAYS stand up for myself. I can’t get hit and not hit back. With words though, I’ve always made it a point to seem like what they are saying doesn’t bother me. When you stop and think about it, their opinions don’t matter one bit. Once they stop getting a rise out of you, they move on to someone more entertaining to mess with. So my advice is to have no reaction at all. Let us know if this gets sorted out.

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