DNF Review: Death Rejoices by A.J. Aalto

Posted September 2nd, 2015 in book review / 27 comments

DNF Review: Death Rejoices by A.J. AaltoDeath Rejoices by A.J. Aalto
Series: The Marnie Baranuik Files #2
Publisher: Self-Published on April 30, 2013
Genres: Urban Fantasy, Adult
Pages: 574
Format: eBook
Source: Review Request
Purchase: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads
Rating: dnf

Marnie Baranuik is back, and this time, the Great White Shark of psychic investigations has “people skills” and a new assistant who seems to harbor an unhealthy curiosity about Harry, her revenant companion. Together, they’ve got a whole lot of questions that need answering. Is an ancient vampire hunting in Denver? Who is stalking Lord Dreppenstedt? How do you cure a slipper-humping bat, ditch an ogre, or give a demon king the slip? And what the hell was she thinking, swearing off cookies?

Teaming up with her sexual nemesis, Special Agent Mark Batten, and their long-suffering supervisor, Gary Chapel, Marnie discovers that vampire hunters aren’t easy to rescue, secrets don’t stay buried, and zombies sure are a pain in the ass to kill.


I LOVED Touched, the first book of the series. I gave it 5 freaking stars. How the second book, Death Rejoices could be a DNF is mind-boggling. So let me break this down for you.

It started out great! Fun, snarky Marnie was the best. I was laughing my ass off. She has that stupid hilarious sense of humor. And that lasted for the 35% of the book I read. I am not talking about spaced throughout, I’m saying that Marnie used childish and sexual humor the whole fucking time. Every sentence out of her mouth was an ill-timed joke. A girl needs a break, people! That is too much. Even during very serious situations Marnie was giving us one-liners and sarcasm and I wanted to punch her in the face 10% in.

Then there is the sexual stuff. If Marnie is not making jokes she is sucking a fat one. Okay, she’s not actually sucking a fat one, but she is thinking about sucking a fat one. You know the false saying that men think of sex every 6 seconds or something. Obviously that is impossible. Not for Marnie. That bitch thinks of nothing but sex and bad jokes. I couldn’t take this chick seriously. She was funny and horny in the first book but it was spread out and it worked. Not this time around.

Then the straw that broke the camel’s back. This is a little spoilery: Some asshole just attacked Marnie’s vampire brother and permanently disfigured him. Marnie chases after the a-hole into the woods. When she finally tackles him she…are you ready for this…she is so horny she starts humping him. Yes, you heard me right. She dry humps and sticks her boobs into the face of the man who harmed her brother not one minute ago because, “she can’t help herself.” And that’s when I threw the book across the room, or I would have if it were not an ebook. I just…I…how the hell am I suppose to get over that?

You may think, hey, at least you only read up to 35%. Yeah, well, this book is freaking 574 pages long. So I suffered through 200 pages of this drivel. I feel so violated. I kept thinking it would get better but it only got worse. Suffice it to say, I do not recommend this book.


Even though I didn’t like the book, I did want to show the potential this book had with some funny quotes:

“Look, I’m sick. It’s early. Don’t tick me off or I’ll toss your salad.” He stopped short, and I could tell he wanted to gape at me, but was too tired to bother. “Whatever could that phrase mean, my darling?” I shrugged. “Heard it in a movie once. It’s something they do to each other in prison, so it’s gotta be bad.”

“Have we met?” I asked. “Because I don’t recognize you at all.” “Then by all means, allow me to introduce myself,” Harry said, his easy playfulness returning. He stepped closer, straightening the blood-soaked black lace at his collar, backing me up with his soft, padding approach. “I am the icy push of immortality through your veins. I am the grave-wrought hand around your heart. I am the cold wind that blows up your skirt.” He crooked a brow at me. “Do you require a more tangible reminder, DaySitter?”  


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27 Responses to “DNF Review: Death Rejoices by A.J. Aalto”

  1. Red Iza

    Talk about second book syndrome ! I wouldn’t touch that book with a ten feet pole, but you made me curious about the first ^^

  2. Lekeisha

    OMG! She seriously dry humped the bad guy?!!! WTF happened between book 1 and 2? Did the author just not care about this story anymore? WHAT?!! I need to understand this situation. There are always sequels that do not live up to the first book, but goddamn. Excuse my language, but I’m upset for you girlfriend. *shakes head and goes to get ready for work*

  3. laura thomas

    Thanks for sharing those excerpts. I can see why you loved the first book. Dang, I probably won’t read it now. Why fall in love with characters and not be able to stand them later!

  4. kindlemom1

    I do loathe DNF’s. They are so hard to review because what do you say without being negative?

    You did a great job in your review though and I think this wouldn’t be the read for me either.

    • Jennifer Bielman

      I feel like a get a little too passionate with DNFs but only because I really have to loath a book to give up on it.

  5. Jaclyn Canada

    Wow! That sucks. Sounds like the author heard what was liked about the character and ran with it full-tilt to the point of over-consumption. Great review!

  6. Melissa (Books and Things)

    How disappointing! I don’t know if I could get over that or if curiosity that it HAS to get better make me regret reading further. Hm… probably DNF b/c I would have thrown the book as well. Hope the next is better!

    • Jennifer Bielman

      I really thought I could tough it out and get to better parts, if there were any, but I couldn’t handle it.

  7. Nathan

    Thanks for the warning. You want a character who has some humor and may think of sex some of the time, but not all the time. It sounds like Marnie is supposedly out of control and not believable.

  8. Braine Talk Supe

    *gives Marnie a sausage*

    Suck it!

    This happened to me with Angie Sandro’s series. The first one was amazing, the second one was annoying af. This Marnie chick sounds amusing at first, but antics like that gets old fast. And a fat one? ewww! Not my favorite penis reference.

  9. Christy

    Wow, I’m literally laughing out loud. The image of this girl I have in my head now is … hahaha … wow. What a difference a book makes.

  10. Melliane

    Oh it’s sad that after havinf such a great time with book 1 you were disappointed like that with this one… I hope your next one will be better

  11. Olivia Roach

    OH MY GOODNESS. I am never reading this book. It sounds so horrible! I was not liking things from the sound of the character who couldn’t stop thinking sex and making bad jokes. But when you mentioned the thing about the brother and what she did with him after, I can understand why you stopped reading. I mean, why would you think that would be a good thing to include in the book? WHY?

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